Baby Is Having Tantrums

My Baby Is Having Tantrums: How Should I React?

Tantrums are a normal part of early childhood, and understanding how to respond calmly helps your baby learn emotional regulation while keeping your sanity intact.

This article covers everything parents need to know about baby tantrums: age patterns, types, handling strategies, warning signs, and practical tips.

How to Deal with Baby Tantrums?

Handling tantrums requires patience, empathy, and consistency. Here’s a detailed guide:

Stay calm and composed: Babies respond to your tone. Keeping calm helps them self-regulate.
Identify triggers: Common triggers include hunger, tiredness, overstimulation, or frustration.
Offer comfort: Provide reassurance but avoid reinforcing demanding or aggressive behavior.
Use distraction techniques: Toys, songs, or a change of scenery can redirect attention.
Practice consistent routines: Predictable schedules reduce frustration and tantrum frequency.
Set limits gently: Consistent boundaries teach emotional control without punishment.
Model coping strategies: Demonstrate deep breathing or calm expressions to guide your child.
Document patterns: Note tantrum frequency, duration, and triggers to discuss with pediatricians if needed.

What Age Do Babies Have Tantrums?

Tantrums can appear as early as 6 months and continue through early childhood. Patterns vary by age:

6–9 months: Frustration from limited mobility or communication skills.
9–12 months: Desire for independence; frustration with limits.
12–24 months: “Terrible twos” phase; testing boundaries and asserting control.
2–3 years: Developing autonomy and language; tantrums often involve verbal outbursts.
3–4 years: Complex emotional regulation; tantrums may decrease but still occur under stress.

What Are the Three Types of Tantrums?

Frustration Tantrums: When babies cannot achieve a goal, such as reaching a toy.
Attention-Seeking Tantrums: Aim to capture parental focus.
Anger or Defiance Tantrums: Expressing strong emotions against limits or instructions.

Is It a Tantrum or Autism?

Some parents worry intense or frequent meltdowns could indicate autism:

Typical tantrums are situational, brief, and vary by environment.
Autism-related behaviors may appear consistently: poor eye contact, repetitive movements, difficulty with social cues, delayed speech.
Consult a pediatrician if multiple warning signs persist.

Baby Tantrums by Age

6 Months

Babies may cry or fuss due to frustration, fatigue, or overstimulation. Strategies include gentle soothing, maintaining routines, and gradual introduction to new stimuli.

8 Months

Separation anxiety peaks. Use short controlled separations, interactive games like peekaboo, and comfort items to reduce stress.

9 Months

As mobility increases, tantrums may be more frequent. Encourage safe exploration, set clear boundaries, and reinforce calm behavior.

12 Months

Toddlers test limits. Maintain consistent routines, use calm redirection, and offer positive reinforcement.

18 Months

Toddlers explore independence and may scream, throw objects, or flop. Offer choices, redirect attention, and provide consistent routines.

24 Months

Language develops but expressing complex emotions is still hard. Validate feelings, use time-ins, and encourage self-soothing with favorite items.

3 Years

Children understand cause and effect but frustration still triggers tantrums. Encourage verbal expression, reinforce positive behaviors, and maintain structured routines.

4 Years

Emotional regulation improves, but stress and overstimulation can trigger outbursts. Teach coping strategies, recognize early signs, and maintain predictable routines.

Signs Your Child May Need Extra Support

Frequent intense meltdowns interfering with daily life.
Aggression toward self or others.
Difficulty calming down despite parental intervention.
Tantrums persisting beyond expected age norms.
Consult a pediatrician or child psychologist if these signs appear.

Practical Tips for Handling Tantrums

Keep routines predictable.
Offer choices for autonomy.
Stay calm; avoid yelling or punishment.
Use positive reinforcement consistently.
Document triggers and patterns.
Model emotional coping strategies.
Adjust environment to minimize overstimulation.
Maintain patience; emotional regulation develops over time.

Daily Routine Table to Reduce Tantrums

Time	Activity	Tips
7:00 AM	Wake up and breakfast	Offer choices to give autonomy.
9:30 AM	Morning nap	Keep environment quiet and dim.
11:00 AM	Playtime / Exploration	Rotate toys and encourage independent exploration.
12:30 PM	Lunch	Positive reinforcement for trying new foods.
1:30 PM	Afternoon nap	Stick to routines to prevent crankiness.
3:30 PM	Snack & light play	Offer healthy snacks; avoid sugar spikes.
5:30 PM	Outdoor activity	Physical activity helps burn energy.
7:00 PM	Dinner & bedtime routine	Calm environment; consistent steps signal winding down.
8:00 PM	Bedtime	Read a book or sing a lullaby; praise calm behavior.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

How to deal with baby tantrums?

Stay calm, identify triggers, offer comfort without reinforcing bad behavior, use distraction, and maintain consistent routines.

What age do babies have tantrums?

Tantrums typically appear between 6 months and 4 years, varying in frequency and intensity by age.

What are the three types of tantrums?

Frustration, attention-seeking, and anger/defiance tantrums.

Is it a tantrum or autism?

Typical tantrums are situational and brief. Autism-related behaviors are consistent and may include poor eye contact, repetitive movements, and delayed speech.

We’d love to hear from you: Share your daily routines, strategies, or exercises that helped reduce your child's tantrums in the comments below!

References

American Academy of Pediatrics. Understanding Tantrums in Young Children.
WebMD. Toddler Tantrums: How to Handle Them.
Zero to Three. Emotional Development in Infants and Toddlers.
HealthyChildren.org. Temper Tantrums and Behavioral Guidance.